A child who is stubborn is one who does not accept orders and always does everything he wants. These children act impulsively, sometimes using physical and verbal violence. These little ones seek to be pleased at all times by others and do not understand the "no" for an answer. Constantly resort to
A child who is stubborn is one who does not accept orders and always does everything he wants. These children act impulsively, sometimes using physical and verbal violence. These little ones seek to be pleased at all times by others and do not understand the "no" for an answer.
Constantly resort to tantrums in any situation. They cry, shout, use violence, throw themselves on the floor, etc. Everything goes to achieve its purpose. But, how can we face this situation and face stubbornness in children?
When stubbornness begins in children
From the age of 2-3 years, even before in some children, the little ones go through the known "no" stage. This can be considered a normal period that children go through. This stage helps them to strengthen their identity. Thus, we can see that the child around this age:
- Says not constantly and everything.
- Live episodes of "tantrums" constantly. Da - It gives the feeling that he cries for everything.
- Does the opposite of what we ask and continues to do for several weeks.
- He rejects us and asks to leave with someone who is somewhat more permissive with his stubbornness. Se - He hides to be alone and get what he wants. Ter Stubbornness is the response that occurs when the child becomes aware of the existence of a "me" and the existence of others. In addition, this stage coincides with the moment in which the child is getting more autonomy to explore the world, thanks to the fact that it develops symbolic thinking and acquires the necessary language to achieve it.
On the other hand, the relationship he establishes with his attachment figures is ambivalent, that is, he needs them emotionally and emotionally, but he needs to be more and more independent every time.
What can we do if the child is stubborn?
It is normal for the child to get angry, question things and try to impose his / her criteria, but this attitude must be avoided to become something natural in his / her way of being. It is important that the sooner it is corrected, the attitude of stubbornness will be better, since the older the child is, the more complicated it will be to do so. To achieve this, we can follow the following tips.
If we know that the slogan that we ask the child will frustrate him, it is better that 5 minutes before he is letting us know what he is going to have to do. This way, we will make your stubbornness less intense and avoid a tantrum.
- Be an example.
It is important that parents preach by example, because if they see, for example that they stop eating something because they do not like it, they will decide to do the same. - Avoid negative messages
. It is important that adults avoid negative ones. If the no is used to avoid the stubborn behavior of the child, the situation worsens. It is better for parents to explain the consequences of the child acting in such a way before using a no. - Use calmness.
Stubbornness appears as a normal stage in childhood, so it will be better to take this situation calmly and avoid getting angry with the child.- Avoid punishment.
It is better not to use punishment as a consequence of your behavior. It will be better to show the child that it is convenient to obey. It is not worth prohibiting without explaining. Children want and need to know why they can not do what they want and that it is better to pay attention to what the adult says. - Negotiate.
Through persuasion it is possible to avoid uncomfortable situations. It is about using negotiation to redirect your stubbornness and making the situation easier for all parties. You can offer options allowing the child to choose and make decisions. Thanks to this you will feel more control and freedom which will make you willing to collaborate and overcome your stubbornness. - Positive messages.
There are issues that are not negotiable. In this case it will be better to use messages that guide the child in a positive way, than giving orders and imposing.