The mistake of teaching the child to defend himself by sticking
It is a mistake to say to the child: "if they hit you, hit". Lately we have much more visibility on the cases of bullying that are occurring. We can see more parents every day whose children come complaining that their classmates make fun of them, do not let them play, take things away or make them
It is a mistake to say to the child: "if they hit you, hit". Lately we have much more visibility on the cases of bullying that are occurring. We can see more parents every day whose children come complaining that their classmates make fun of them, do not let them play, take things away or make them empty in school. These are situations that occur between children and that are generally unavoidable, so it is important to teach the children to face them and solve them.
When this happens, the first impulse of adults is to protect their children. The problem is that the first thing that comes out is to propose to the children resources such as: "if you push, push yourself too", or "if you hit, give it back". This type of resources, although they are given with the best of intentions, do not help to resolve the conflict but quite the opposite. It is wrong to teach the child to defend himself by hitting.
Consequences of defending oneself with violence
It is understandable that in situations where the child is suffering harassment, many parents come to the solution of encouraging the child to defend himself by beating. What is not logical is to think that acting like this will solve something. Adults have to be aware that violence generates violence and transmit it to children. Acting in this way can be very destructive to the child who is suffering the harassment because ...
- The harasser does not usually act alone for what could be fatal for the child who suffers harassment face a whole group.
- Parents encourage their children to defend themselves with violence when they must understand that children who are harassed tend to have a profile characterized by shyness, low self-esteem, anger, sadness and shame, which makes them unable to hit the harasser. It is only possible to put the child back in the situation of harassment since he will be unable to defend himself. Además - In addition, it may happen that by "taking revenge by his hand"
sanctions the harassed and not the harasser. What to do so as not to teach the child how to defend himself by hitting
It is true that the problem is that there are protocols to act against harassment but often they do not work correctly. When this happens the victim is left unprotected and in the face of this helplessness adults feel the impulse to teach their children to defend themselves with "the same coin".
Parents should be aware that this is not the solution and what really needs to be done is to protect the child who is bullied by teaching him to defend himself assertively. Dar - Give the right tools so that you can
defend yourself without exposing yourself to danger
and give advice in which you learn to respect and be respected. - Teach them to assert themselves and stand up using communication and dialogue.
For example, that they know how to say: NO when they do not like something. Que - That the child knows how to react to a situation of this type, first looking for help from an adult to see if he needs it or can solve it himself.
- Listen to the children when they tell them something is happening at school and ask them how they have solved it. - Foster the self-esteem of the children.
That they are sure of themselves so that they can learn to ignore hurtful comments, be compassionate and understand why there are other children who make them, but they should not allow or consent to their abuses. - Help them
identify their emotions and feelings when they are exposed to a harassment situation. It is important that you know how to express and manage them.