Each stage of the development of our children demands in us, the parents, that we adapt to their changes, needs, capacities and characteristics. That is, what we did with the child of 3, does not work for the child of 7 or 10 years, you have to change the guidelines. That is why in Guiainfantil.com
Each stage of the development of our children demands in us, the parents, that we adapt to their changes, needs, capacities and characteristics. That is, what we did with the child of 3, does not work for the child of 7 or 10 years, you have to change the guidelines.
That is why in Guiainfantil.com we give you a series of useful tips to manage obedience in children between 6 and 12 years.
How are children between the ages of 6 and 12?
From the age of 6 on, there are large and important changes in children su in their development that allow them to understand and order the world in a much broader and more precise way. A greater capacity for attention, memory, knowledge ... - Children are accessing and participating in new contexts, (school, leisure groups, friends ...) and, as a result, new sources of influence appear in the development of the personality. It is a stage in which boys and girls continue to build their personality, but now they are consolidating many of the aspects of personal development that had been defined in previous years.
Evolves self-concept, self-esteem que, which is increasingly mediated by social comparison and will be gaining in objectivity, and in which the academic and social dimensions of it begin to take on importance. - Evolves and also changes the understanding of norms and values , of rules established by consensus therefore in this stage of the 6 to 12 years, changes that occur in children will affect and make us have to modify the guidelines and norms in the home, as far as rules, limits and discipline are concerned.
- The autonomy of the children is very important, that is,they have to start doing things alone,
(showering, homework, dressing and undressing, picking up their clothes and room ...) and that new autonomy will become new norms In the home. This autonomy gives children more independence and responsibility. It is this essential aspect at this stage, and the responsibility is to assume the consequences of what they do. - At this stage, discipline will therefore translate into responsibility and not so much in complying with the rules and the rules, because the authority says so. Responsibility in their school tasks, in the tasks they have to do at home, in their studies and for their position in the decisions they make and the consequences of those decisions.
- The children begin to question the authority , (more accused towards the end of the stage) ask why the things they have to do, and tend to appear more conflicts in the home related to this. But it is normal, and part of the development of children, you have to learn who they are and how the world they live in works.
How to achieve obedience in children between 6 and 12 yearsTo manage obedience in children between 6 and 12 years old
it is essential to continue applying consistency and consistency to the rules, rules and consequences of not fulfilling them
. We must fulfill what we say we will do if the child does not do something or lose authority.At this stage we can begin to negotiate some rules, but we must also make consequences when these negotiated rules are not met.Therefore, at this stage it is important, as far as discipline is concerned:
to the children and give them greater autonomy. - Highlight and reward the achievements
achieved by the child, and avoid reproaching failure, (if you had studied ... if you had worked more ...). El - Compliance with social norms and behavioral guidelines becomes more effective when we show approval when they comply and accept , than when we limit ourselves to teaching them. That is, not because we repeat 100 times what to do, they will do it, it is better that when they do what we have told them, we show them our pleasure and approval.
- Praise when appropriate, when we want to reward something, without exaggerating.
- Avoid that our emotions influence the consequences that we put and look for the balance in our performances. If the child has not done his homework, put a consequence according to what he has done, so punishments of the type, "a week without watching television" should be avoided, but we can tell you that since they did not do their homework, this afternoon or tomorrow they will not watch TV or they will not play in the park.
- Avoid giving too many orders to the children, (do this, do the other thing, and also this other ...) we overwhelm them and it is difficult to fulfill everything. En - At this stage it is fundamental to listen to our children, take their points of view into account, and let them make decisions, be open to alternative solutions that our children can propose, in this way we reduce hostility and tension at home and create a favorable climate at home.
- Talk to them without hurry, listen to themand find the right moment to talk with them.
We have to understand that conflict and discussions with children will exist, and are necessary for the developing child, it helps them to negotiate, to be more sure of themselves, and to assume responsibilities.