How to teach children to negotiate and debate effectively
Teaching children to negotiate and debate is one of the best tools we can provide to be successful in their day-to-day life. We are social animals and that implies that most of the time the children invest in communicating with the people around them (parents, siblings, teachers, classmates, friends
Teaching children to negotiate and debate is one of the best tools we can provide to be successful in their day-to-day life. We are social animals and that implies that most of the time the children invest in communicating with the people around them (parents, siblings, teachers, classmates, friends, caregivers, etc.).
Teach children to handle assertive communication
Knowing how to communicate assertively is essential to develop in our daily life without great difficulties.
Children who know how to communicate assertively are those who do not have difficulty expressing their opinion or defending their point of view and also try to be careful not to offend or annoy the interlocutor trying at all times to make the conversation as kind as possible. relaxed possible but without losing sight of your goal. Being able to transmit ideas, wishes or opinions in a respectful way and at the same time accepting points of view contrary to ours, is something that none of us is born knowing how to do but on the contrary it is a skill that we are learning with experience and step of the years in some occasions.
To teach children to negotiate and debate, it is necessary first of all that
we teach them to be assertive and there is no better way to do it than with our own example. However, below, we offer a series of guidelines or key ideas that we should teach children if we want them to acquire the ability to negotiate and debate with others effectively. Guidelines to teach children to negotiate and debate
- Absolute truth does not exist.
It is important that children behave humbly in any context but especially when interacting with other people. Adopting a superb attitude prevents us on many occasions from reaching our goal. All points of view are appropriate, none of us have absolute truth. Starting from this premise, we will be able to defend our position or our arguments with tranquility, naturalness and freshness, without invalidating or underestimating the point of view of our interlocutor. This attitude can help the child to take his opponent to his field. - Actively listen and respect the turns of the word.
If we want to be heard and respected we must listen and respect ourselves too. It is essential to make the child aware of the golden rule of social relationships: "Do not do to others what you do not like to be done to you". Many times, when we are negotiating or debating, we are not listening to other people but we are aware of ourselves and prepared to be able to let go of our arguments at any time. But, this is a mistake because if we do not listen or pay attention to the arguments that others contribute, we can hardly refute them. - Know how to explain their own arguments.
The content of what we say is as important as the way we say it. Children have to learn to communicate their arguments as calmly as possible, leaving aside emotions such as anger or fear. Express what we think is a right so we should not fear anything, but in turn, we have the obligation not to intimidate, inconvenience or annoy other people with our way of defending our arguments. So it is essential that children learn to say what they think in an appropriate tone, taking care of the distances so as not to invade the other person's personal space, controlling their bodily movements to be smooth, etc. And, on the other hand, it is necessary to expose their ideas clearly without giving many laps or going around the bush. - Accept criticism or contrary opinions.
Listening to the arguments of other people, reflecting on them and contrasting them with our own is a fabulous way of fostering critical thinking. We must teach children to consider the opinions of others and to find arguments for and / or against to accept or reject them. - Make requests.
We have the right to make requests or transmit to others what we would like them to do, but we must bear in mind that other people also have the right not to access our requests. It is very important that children internalize this idea. We have the right to ask for what we want or need others to do for us but we must also be prepared to receive a NO for an answer that of course we will have to accept. But, beware, it is necessary to insist on the difference of making a request to demand that others do something for us. If we demand others we are lost and children in most cases do not make requests but resort to the requirement to get what they want. - We all win.
Most of us have been educated under the framework of relationships based on the "I win-you lose" but, this is not the smartest thing. Why not encourage children to seek solutions and alternatives so that in negotiation or debate all parties win? This is what is known as "I win-you win". This is not easy but with creativity and interest children can find a solution or find a point of agreement where it is not necessary for one party to lose so that the other can win. Finally, a great idea is to put into practice with our children what they have learned after having explained all these guidelines. There is no better way to learn than by taking action.
A technique that is often used is "role playing" which is nothing more than making a representation to stage what they have been taught . In this case, you can choose a topic that is of interest to a child to start a debate or negotiation process in order to put into practice what has been previously discussed. And, let the debate or negotiation begin!
