Envy is a feeling of dislike for the joy of the other. It is a way of experiencing a negative emotion that is transformed into feelings such as: resentment, indignation, anger, grief, despair, etc. And then they become unpleasant thoughts towards the other person. Envy in childhood begins to emerge
Envy is a feeling of dislike for the joy of the other. It is a way of experiencing a negative emotion that is transformed into feelings such as: resentment, indignation, anger, grief, despair, etc. And then they become unpleasant thoughts towards the other person.
Envy in childhood begins to emerge from the first years of life, when the child begins to relate to their family environment. Envious children grow up with a feeling of general dissatisfaction. This makes them more aware of what others have or do, than of their own. The engine of envy is insecurity and the feeling of inferiority.
Causes of envy in childhood
The goal of envy in childhood and after it is to obtain something that is not available either from the material or social point of view:
- Material envy. The one in which you want the objects that others have like toys.
- Social envy. It is to want to be permanently the center of attention, not leaving space to others, either at home or at school.
Envy is a natural feeling that is predisposed by the personal characteristics of the child. That is, it occurs because it is growing and is part of its development. It will also be important to highlight the environment where you live. Within the environment where the child develops, envy-inducing factors may appear as:
- Comparisons. That a child gets better grades, that he is the best in the sport he practices, etc. These actions can lead to the envy of others due to social comparisons. We live in a complex society where social status influences our lives. Therefore, and from an adaptive point is where social comparison is born as an effort to be better positioned socially.
- Envy between brothers. It can be considered as the first manifestation of envy of the child through jealousy to think that he is replaced by his brother. Recovering the previous point, it is important that parents avoid comparisons between them and manifest their individual qualities separately so as not to create insecurities in the children.
Tips to treat envy in children
We give you some tips to work with children's envy:
- In a positive sense. Envy has always had negative connotations but is part of the normal development of the child so that adults should not censor or punish them for feeling this emotion, but should allow their expression in order to see what is trying to Express the child.
- Encourage the effort. The child must be clear that with complaints towards what others have and magically, things are not achieved. The value of effort is fundamental to achieve the goals.
- Reason with the child. There are times when children want material things due to the fact that their friends or classmates have them. Parents must understand that many times you can not make that expense by explaining it rationally.
- In the first person. When the child feels envy for another person, make him see what he would feel if it were the other way around.
- Value the child. The most important thing so that the child does not feel envy is that he feels valued. Thanks to it we will leave aside the insecurities and distrust in oneself that provokes envy