Children who provoke their parents
From the age of 2-3 it is common for children to begin to reaffirm their personality and have little tolerance to handle "no" and obey. Those first moments are crucial to know how you are going to solve those situations throughout your life. In case you do not have adequate strategies, you will be m
From the age of 2-3 it is common for children to begin to reaffirm their personality and have little tolerance to handle "no" and obey. Those first moments are crucial to know how you are going to solve those situations throughout your life. In case you do not have adequate strategies, you will be more angry, you may get to hurt yourself or say a word that could hurt you.
Therefore, it is important that you have the appropriate strategies so that these provocations do not go any further as you grow. So we should proceed with children who provoke the parents.
Guidelines to put into practice with children who provoke their parents
Learning to accept the "no" is complicated for both children and adults. Each child faces that "no" in a different way, there are those who resign or cry and others who scream and get angry. If your child is one of the last, you probably have the feeling that your child is trying to provoke you. Why does he do this? Sometimes it's deliberate because it's the way he knows he'll get what he wants (maybe it's not for you, maybe he's ever behaved that way with someone and to avoid that anger they gave him), and in other cases it is simply because he does not know how to manage his frustration in another way.
For example, if you ask her to order her room or put on a certain dress and she does not want to and you do not give in so she does not, she will start to get angry and the way she finds to free herself from that emotion that she does not like may be telling you something that hurt you or that makes you lose control.
It is difficult to set limits with children who provoke their parents, so we offer you some simple tips that will help you reduce those situations:
- Respect, even if he does not have it: Do not forget that you are the adult and the one you should control the situation and not vice versa. It is possible that at that moment you think that he is doing it to hurt you or that he is trying to get over you, but if you want him to learn that forms and education should never be lost when someone takes the opposite, you should do it first.
- Keep a routine: Your rhythm and that of your child are completely different, however if it is always more or less similar that will help your child to adjust and better fulfill what you propose in the time you make. However, if each day seems different and both schedules and activities are altered, it will not only generate more conflicts, but children will feel insecure and more irritated. No - Do not give in to their provocations:
Not every day you are in the same mood or with the same strength to solve the problems that arise with your children. However, no matter what mood you have, you need to maintain consistency and not give up to prevent it from behaving like that or not going any further. If at that moment, you answer to their provocations, you will only make the problem worse and that you will be in this situation longer. Concre - Specify what you have to do: When you tell him things like "order the toys", you should not expect him to do it without more. It is such a broad term and that each one can order in a different way and that is where you will be able to think that you are being taken for a ride and maybe that is really your way of ordering. Therefore, the best thing is that before sending a new task or even before doing so, take time to talk about what you expect and be more specific the next time so that there is no misunderstanding.
- Pause if you need it: It is very easy to enter into a discussion that has no solution and there is only a throwing of hurtful words. When you reach that limit, it seems that the situation invites you to continue discussing, but what if I told you that it is not necessary? We are immediate and sometimes there are conversations for which it is worth taking a moment to think if it is so important (sometimes they have put up real arguments to put on some shoes or others) and if you are controlling the situation or the situation is out of control and reduce the tension. That time (which can sometimes be 5 minutes) can reorient the situation and change the ending.
