How to help the child overcome his shyness
Being shy is a feature of our personality that is due to the set of hereditary factors and the environment in which we grew up. Shyness can occur to a greater or lesser degree when we are children. The shyness causes that the small ones can experience discomfort, and even apprehension when they live
Being shy is a feature of our personality that is due to the set of hereditary factors and the environment in which we grew up. Shyness can occur to a greater or lesser degree when we are children.
The shyness causes that the small ones can experience discomfort, and even apprehension when they live new situations that occur outside their environment. In addition, the simple fact of being close to other people can affect them according to the degree of shyness they present. How can we help the child overcome his shyness and overcome all the obstacles he poses?
Being shy throughout the child's growth
Being shy is considered a habitual reaction and a logical response of the child to the unknown. Thanks to the studies carried out by the psychologist Jerome Kagan we can affirm that 20% of children are born with the predisposition to be shy. In addition, we know that throughout their maturation children begin to feel like one more and what is around in their environment also counts. Thus:
- The shyness can appear from the first year of the child, at the moment that the fear to the separation of its figure of attachment arises.
- About 3 years when facing a new social context when the school period starts, shyness can be accentuated.
- Between 5 and 6 years old is when socialization begins in full swing. Children begin to care what others think, they begin to avoid behaviors that prevent them from criticizing, so they will take into account everything that surrounds them before performing a behavior that may have a positive or negative impact on them.
- Already in adolescence this behavior is much more latent.
What are the signs that indicate that the child is shy
To help children is key that parents, teachers, and even friends observe the children and be alert to some signs or behaviors such as:
- Prefer be alone before being part of the group.
- Fear or anxiety at the time of expressing an opinion in the presence of other people.
- In the presence of other children, se is reserved and distant, has difficulty initiating conversations with other children, never shows initiative to do any activity. - Problems related to their self-esteem such as:
feeling inferior and not knowing how to defend themselves. In addition, problems such as belly or head aches may appear as a way to avoid certain situations. It is important to realize these signs and that parents, teachers and all adults in the child's environment communicate what they observe in the child's behavior to avoid that shyness increases and that it leads to an anxiety that hinders the child's establishment of social relationships.
5 tips to help the child overcome shyness
The most important context for the child to overcome shyness is the family. Everything that happens within the family nucleus influences from the early childhood on the later development of the character and the qualities of the small one. Therefore, the family is the most propitious environment to help the child overcome shyness as it provides security, emotional stability, tranquility, etc. Some tips to help the child overcome shyness are:
- Avoid overprotection
. Speak for the child, comfort him every time he is withdrawn, avoid all situations that may be uncomfortable for the child, etc. These are all situations that can have a negative effect and guide the child towards a social isolation that increases the problem.-
Do not force behaviors . Phrases such as: "say hello to ...", "play with those children" and insist that he has a behavior for which they are not yet prepared can be counterproductive. So it is better not to insist, not force, or force them to do what we want.-
Avoid labels . These can be dangerous. Many times parents use them as an excuse to shield the child. It is better to let the child relax and confront the new situations little by little, than to excuse him with the phrase: "is that he is very shy".- Positively assess the child's behavior
. Recognizing their positive attitudes to shyness helps children trust their abilities and feel more secure in future interactions.-
Lead by example. If parents are sociable in new situations, children are more likely to learn to behave the same in the same circumstances
