Parent discussions: how they affect children
When the child witnesses early in fights and arguments between parents, he or she will feel anguished and even guilty of what is happening. In Guiainfantil.com we tell you how the discussions of the parents affect the children and what we can do to avoid the feeling of fear, frustration or anguish.
When the child witnesses early in fights and arguments between parents, he or she will feel anguished and even guilty of what is happening.
In Guiainfantil.com we tell you how the discussions of the parents affect the children and what we can do to avoid the feeling of fear, frustration or anguish.
The importance of working emotions with children
At 3 or 4 years of age the child has learned a series of behaviors that help him achieve what he wants and that are part of his childhood personality. As the child grows new challenges appear in the relationship with their parents and siblings, at school with their teachers and peers, and also with the children with whom they share their game in the park. All these situations help you mature and strengthen your character.
At this age, parents play an essential role in helping their children relate to others. Parents can teach children to recognize their emotions, to talk about them and to treat them. If the parents ignore the fear, anguish, anger or frustration in the child, the child will lose a fantastic opportunity to recognize and identify them.
When the child names what he feels, he learns to understand himself better and to calm down no, not letting himself be carried away by emotion. If a mother or father punishes their child for not obeying the child, they may feel sad because they have upset their parents or they may be angry because they do not let them do what they want. If we ask him, are you sad or angry? He will know how to tell us what is happening to him and we will understand him better.How parents' discussions affect children
The child does not understand the world of adults.
If at very young ages the child witnesses fights between the parents, he is very likely to feel distressed trate and try to find out what it means to him what is happening. The child may think "this is my fault", or "my parents are going to get divorced and what will happen to me?" This situation will generate great discomfort and will seek a way to intervene to reduce their anguish: - A strategy could be to try to mediate
so that their parents do not argue. If the child achieves his goal, he will become the reconciliator of his parents, the person who offers them support, reversing the role of the child taking on a role that does not correspond to him, that of a father. - A second strategy that the child could use is to show problematic behavior
that distracts parents from the focus of the conflict. - A third option could be to avoid the situation by taking refuge in the game, in the studio or in any other activity
. If one of the older siblings has already assumed one of these roles: the peacemaker, the troublemaker, the animator or the avoider, the younger child will have to play a different one. It is important to remember that a strategy that can work in the short term in a given situation with one type of person may not be suitable in the long term in other situations. In situations of conflict between the parents the child does what he can to relieve the tension; however,the strategies you use may not help you in the future
. For example, attacks of anger or crying can cause the child problems in school, can be rejected by their peers and receive criticism and / or disapproval by the teacher. The child will grow happy if the parents face the discussions in a constructive wayThe research shows that the parents differ in the way they handle conflicts
:
- Some follow destructive patterns, using threats, hostile expressions and insults.- Other couples show more beneficial behaviors, talking about the problem but showing affection, support, sense of humor; the important thing is to look for a solution instead of a guilty one.
When parents solve their differences in a more constructive way, children show less anguish, in addition to learning how affection, good humor and coping with problems contribute to solving them, maintaining a good family atmosphere.
These homes guarantee the safety and happiness of the children.
