The age of 'why' in children

How nice when children say their first words! True? And once they start talking they go through multiple phases: the phase of speaking and not stopping, the age of not, or the age of why in children ... There is a moment when our children seem to question themselves to the point of life ... "We go t

How nice when children say their first words! True? And once they start talking they go through multiple phases: the phase of speaking and not stopping, the age of not, or the age of why in children ...

There is a moment when our children seem to question themselves to the point of life ... "We go to the bathtub ... and why? Because you have to bathe to be clean and handsome, and why? Because if we do not smell bad ... and why?" And so we could be hours in an endless loop in which the child would not stop asking and why? and because? We have no answers, imagination does not give more, and patience runs out. And, we also ask ourselves ... ¿Why ????

The "why" stage in children

Children go through different stages in their development and this is one of them. It occurs between 2 and 4 years, age in which the child on the one hand begins to master the language and on the other hand is a stage of great progress in the development of the child's thinking, they need to know, order their world, expand knowledge and want to know the reasons why the world around him is like that.

"Why does not the sun come out at night? Why are the peas round?" Children in this age begin to reflect on the world around them, are more aware of the outside, of the differences between people, objects, and need to know, need to cover knowledge and gain security also in the environment around them.

How can we answer the whys of the children?

It is important that parents give answers to these questions of the child, with patience, in a language accessible to the child and without giving great explanations. That is, if the child asks me why it rains, I will not explain the water cycle or the concept of condensation. I can tell you that the clouds are made of water, and when they have a lot of water and can not have more they have to release it and then it rains.

What if we do not know the answer? If we do not know what to answer, we can say "Well darling, I do not know" which is also a good answer. And if you ask me, why do not you know? We will tell you that dad and mom do not know everything, but we can find the answer together.

What if he keeps insisting again and again on the same question? We have to make sure on the one hand that the child understands the answer, and on the other, that we know what the child really wants to ask. Sometimes they ask us one thing and then they ask us again: "but, why?". If the child wants to know more, we have to try to find an answer that he can understand, but clearly.

There may be situations in which the child asks questions at inappropriate times and places uncomfortable situations. For example, we are talking to a person, and the children ask us "Why is this person so ...?" or "Why do you have ...?" Moment in which the child pulls out the colors and I think ... "Tierra tragame". More than scolding the child, later and alone, we must teach him what he can ask or not in the presence of these people, and give him guidelines so that, if he is curious, he asks me but when we are alone.

What if you ask me about embarrassing topics? Children can ask me everything, from why the sky is blue, to why the grandpa is dead, or why I have a baby in my gut. It is important that there are no forbidden topics and not saying "you do not have the age for this" or "you'll know it when you're older" because in this way we do not favor or facilitate communication with our children. It can also be something that really generates anguish to the child and if I tell him that he does not ask, I leave him with more uncertainty.

And if I tell the child to pick up his room and ask me why? Here the only thing that can be said is that you have to order the room because things have to be ordered, and it is also a rule at home that what gets messed up is then ordered. Here we will have to be more clear and make clear the limit to do what we have asked.

What should we avoid when the child asks "why" to everything?

What we should always avoid is to tell the child not to be "pesadito" or "that is not asked" or "this you will not understand". It is true that children can get very heavy, sometimes ask things that we think they can not understand, or that we are not even able to answer, but we have to try to give an answer or tell them, (if it is too heavy), tomorrow we give you more answers.

If I say do not be heavy, or it is worth asking or this is not asked, in a certain way I can inhibit the child or I do not give place to an educational style that favors communication in my children.