Attitudes of parents that generate anxiety for children
The family is the most important parenting context during childhood. And, as expected, parental parenting patterns play a fundamental role in the development of the child. There are certain behaviors of parents that generate anxiety or fears in children . Knowing and identifying what are the main be
The family is the most important parenting context during childhood. And, as expected, parental parenting patterns play a fundamental role in the development of the child.
There are certain behaviors of parents that generate anxiety or fears in children. Knowing and identifying what are the main behaviors of parents, which can cause the little ones to worry too much, is the first step to help our children reduce their anxiety.
Therefore, below, we indicate those attitudes of parents that generate or exacerbate the anxiety of children. Let's talk about how overprotection and hyperexlect can negatively influence the emotional well-being of the little ones.
Two attitudes of parents that generate anxiety for children
Protecting children unnecessarily and unnecessarily does not benefit the children, quite the opposite. When we overprotect our children we are preventing them from exploring and discovering the world around them by themselves. With the best intention of protecting them from this "dangerous and hostile world", the only thing we provoke is that children acquire fears and insecurities. Overprotection generates anxiety in minors by making them the heirs of our fears and by instilling in them the false belief that the world we are immersed in is threatening, dangerous and hostile.
Also, every time we solve their problems, we think, act or make decisions for them, they get smaller, their sense of self-efficacy decreases and their self-esteem becomes smaller and smaller. If we solve all their problems, when will they learn to solve them by themselves and to unfold without fear for the world?
When we overprotect the children we are transmitting "you need me to be able to function in the world" and little by little the child goes internalizing the message of "I am just not capable".
Demanding our children too often encourages them to become children with high levels of anxiety. Our children must and deserve to be happy but not perfect children. Children of very demanding parents want their parents to value them positively. For this reason, children who are overrequired are afraid of making mistakes and feel very dissatisfied, embarrassed and guilty when they fail to meet their parents' expectations.
Excessive pressure and demands make it difficult for children to act spontaneously and freely. They do not want to disappoint their parents and worry too much about meeting their expectations, however, they forget to enjoy the things they do.
Wishing that our children always behave correctly, obtain excellent academic qualifications, do not comment on any lack of education, do not fight with other children or are always willing and delighted to do everything we propose is simply ... impossible mission !
Hyperexlect, as well as overprotection, does not encourage children to think, act and relate to the world in a free and independent manner, but it is the parents who impose on children their way of acting without taking into account their needs and interests.
The human being is imperfect, so to demand that our children be the best in everything they embark on will only promote that they are children who do not enjoy the present and who, on the contrary, worry excessively about what others are going to say about them, thus becoming anxious, insecure, with low self-esteem and emotionally vulnerable.
Our responsibility as parents is to raise autonomous, responsible, independent and of course happy children. We must stop carrying out any pattern of parenting that promotes fear, dependence and insecurity in children.