When and how to set limits to sexual games between children
Sexual games during childhood are frequent and are usually the result of the child's interest and curiosity to explore what he does not know. We should not be alarmed if we observe that our son is playing games with sexual dyes with other children belonging to his peer group . It is absolutely norma
Sexual games during childhood are frequent and are usually the result of the child's interest and curiosity to explore what he does not know. We should not be alarmed if we observe that our son is playing games with sexual dyes with other children belonging to his peer group. It is absolutely normal that this type of games take place during childhood! But, at what point should we intervene?
When to stop sexual games in childhood
The sexual development of the child begins from the moment of his birth. Many people consider it to be at puberty when the onset of sexual development takes place. Until just a few decades ago, childhood has been considered as an asexual period of life. However, this is a widely held erroneous belief because today we know that it is not at puberty when sexual development begins but from when the child is born.
But, the meaning that children give to the sexual games they perform has nothing to do with the meaning we give adults. We can not judge such games from our adult perspective, since it would be a real mistake. The motivations of children when they perform sexual manifestations are very different from the motivations of adults.
But, is everything okay? where is the limit? How can we know if the sexual games our child performs are normal or adequate? When should we worry about the games of a sexual nature that our son performs?
In the first place, it is important to bear in mind that sexual behaviors or sexual games that take place between children are strongly influenced by:
- Age: Behaviors and games vary according to age and therefore development and sexual maturity that the child has reached.
- What the child has observed in their environment: A child will show a type of behavior or other and their games will acquire a shade or another, depending on what they have observed in their closest environment or in the media, such as television or internet, nowadays there is a great facility to access them.
- The information, knowledge and beliefs that the child has learned: The sexual education that the child has received during his childhood, the learning about the limits of his body and the cultural and religious beliefs that he has acquired condition the manifestations or sexual games that the child finally realizes.
When to put limits to the sexual games that our child performs
- If there is age difference between the children that participate in the game.
- If it is observed that the level of physical and emotional maturation of children is unequal.
- If the child is not playing voluntarily.
- If the use of force, threats or insults is observed.
- If the child has inappropriate emotional reactions while playing, such as anger, sadness, nervousness, anger or fear.
- If you observe sexual behaviors of adults (oral sex, specific sexual postures, etc.) that the child should not know and that, on the other hand, do not arise spontaneously but are merely a representation of the that the child has observed in his environment, in the media, on the internet, etc.
- If the game can cause physical or emotional harm to children.