In the effort of many parents to pamper their children, they often forget that their main function is to prepare them for the real world outside the family environment, keeping them safe and making sure they acquire social behaviors appropriate to encourage their autonomy as they get closer to adult
In the effort of many parents to pamper their children, they often forget that their main function is to prepare them for the real world outside the family environment, keeping them safe and making sure they acquire social behaviors appropriate to encourage their autonomy as they get closer to adulthood.
If these pampering of children occurs in an exaggerated and constant manner, we will convert our children into what is known as spoiled children and end up as tyrant children. They are those children who think they are the center of the world, who demand a lot of attention from their parents or who do not care how their actions affect others.
How spoiled children are
It is clear that spoiled children are made and not born. Parents and caregivers are responsible for the child showing spoiled behavior. But this attitude can be redirected. - They are very focused on themselves and believe that they are the center of the world.
- They demand a lot of attention, not only from their parents, but from everyone. And the more they are given, the more they demand.
- They can not, or do not want to, see the way their behaviors affect others.
- They have a low tolerance for discomfort, especially that caused by frustration, disappointment, boredom, delay or denial of what they have asked for; They usually express it with tantrums, fits of anger, insults and / or violence.
- They develop scarce resources (if they ever develop any) to solve problems or face negative experiences.
- They blame others for what they do, while they expect others to solve the problem.
- Sometimes it costs them to feel guilt or remorse for their actions.
- They find it difficult to adapt to environments outside the family, especially the school, because they do not respond well to established social structures or authority figures.
- They feel permanently sad, angry, anxious and / or emotionally fragile and often have low self-esteem.
How to treat spoiled children
Clearly, if we intend to break the circle of mimes, it must be the parents who initiate the process. There are few children, if there are any, who voluntarily renounce the easy life, who spontaneously decide to make an effort or put themselves in a comfortable position. It is convenient to go to a psychology center to be able to make a fundamental change in the way in which the family hierarchy is structured and so the child returns to assume his own development tasks.
In any case, some important guidelines to follow:
- With education to children you have to be tolerant, but you have to set limits to their attitudes and behaviors when they are inappropriate
- Babies and children must receive affection and However, an excess of mime is as detrimental as an excess of authority with the child.
- Avoid overprotection to children, the little ones must be able to evolve and experiment and not create a bubble around them. El - The command in the family should be carried by the parents, not the child. The structure in the family is hierarchical.
Alicia López de Fez.
Founder and Director of the López de Fez Psychology Center, in Valencia. Web of the center: //www.centropsicologiainfantil.es