Criticism is something innate in the human being. It can be done positively or to destroy. The first seeks to help the person to improve a situation while maintaining objectivity and without being loaded with feelings. The negative seeks the complete opposite being only the essence of harming, regar
Criticism is something innate in the human being. It can be done positively or to destroy. The first seeks to help the person to improve a situation while maintaining objectivity and without being loaded with feelings. The negative seeks the complete opposite being only the essence of harming, regardless of what the consequences are.People who use negative criticism are those who are unable to observe that they themselves are responsible for their mistakes and attribute them to other outsiders.
When the mistake is made by parents
There are parents who idealize their children, in such a way that to make them see the perfect ones they are taught to see the flaws outside, criticizing and exaggerating things. In this way parents really annul them. In this type of children there is a poor self-esteem, since they will learn to live pending the approval that others give them and to fulfill the expectations that others have about them.
Therefore, the love they receive from their parents is conditioned by the satisfaction of these expectations, such as being the best at school. Thus, when the child does not reach them, he refuses to admit his own shortcomings and therefore dedicates himself to projecting them in others in order to feel better. By not being accepted for being as it is with its faults in the family, the child learns to be superficial and someone who is not transparent.
Why some children are critical
Children criticize others in order to exercise their power,
increase their self-esteem or attract the attention of others. In addition, that the child is critical may be due to a poorly focused competitive spirit. Another reason why children use gossip or criticism of others for their lack of conflict resolution skills. What parents can do when the child is picky
- Evaluate what is happening
. It is important to know why the child behaves like this. Ask yourself if your child feels safe, knowing that he can ask for help when he needs it. In addition, parents must ensure that they do not have their own expectations placed on their child's behavior and that they are not too high.- Avoid being a part of the criticism
. When the child criticizes someone should not be placed at his side, not only will this behavior be reinforced, but the adult will be an accomplice to the unfair treatment given to the other party. If the father avoids interfering, the son will understand that he must solve the problems from another perspective.- Explore alternatives.
The child needs to be guided and alternatives to overcome obstacles. Criticizing others should not be the solution to your problems. When facing any difficulty, sympathize with their feelings, ask how they feel and then help them by practicing alternatives such as trying harder. - Teach him to focus criticisms
. Banish negative criticism and turn it into a positive self-criticism. Sound criticism allows self-evaluation and recognition of one's own deficiencies. It is valuable for personal growth and is the engine of improvement.- That he learns to be autonomous.
The goal is for the child to develop the ability to solve their problems. When the child is seen to make negative criticism, the child must be helped to think of possible solutions.