Should we let the children win in the games to avoid their frustration?
No child likes to lose when he plays, we know it well. We have seen them cry, throw everything on the floor, spit, cheat or go angry to their room. For this reason and with the best of intentions many parents, when playing with our children, we have been tempted to let them win to avoid being frustr
No child likes to lose when he plays, we know it well. We have seen them cry, throw everything on the floor, spit, cheat or go angry to their room. For this reason and with the best of intentions many parents, when playing with our children, we have been tempted to let them win to avoid being frustrated when losing.
But is it appropriate to avoid this frustration that, in short, is part of the learning that all children must take on at some point in their lives? The answer is a resounding no and we explain it below.
Why should we not let children win games to avoid frustration
Probably everyone - grandparents, parents and other educators - on more than one occasion have let our little ones win us to avoid feeling that unpleasant feeling of frustration that invades us when losing. But beware! This overprotective strategy that initially favors the child eventually plays against him to the point that can turn them into little tyrants who do not assume a failure or a no answer.
Children must learn that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. This learning only occurs through the experience itself through the acceptance of the victories and defeats that we accumulate. As much as it hurts us to see the disgust in their faces when they lose, we must take into account that for good personal, emotional and social development we must also learn to accept frustrations and understand that things do not always come out as one. you want The ability to accept the defeats or victories of others is a sign of maturity.It is no less true that during the first five years, in general, children always want to be first and win at all costs in all games. It is something mainly evolutionary and characteristic of the stage in which they find themselves, a phase mainly dominated by egocentric thinking and the immediate satisfaction of their needs due to their low capacity to delay gratification. However, it is precisely at this stage that we must teach that you can not always win. Without being too harsh or too strict, it is important to teach them to accept the frustration of defeat.
What can parents do? - We must mainly avoid transmitting or inculcating children that every game is a competition in which we must win to be the best. The message to move is precisely the opposite,
we play to have fun,
to learn, to entertain ourselves and have a good time. We should not be angry at losing, the other also has the right to win. - In the same way we must control our reactions
, both in the victories and in the defeats. Children learn by imitation and parents are their main references and role models. Ig - Equally important is to teach the consequences to their excessive reactions when losing, setting limits to their anger. If necessary, the game is stopped and saved until the next time you are calmer and willing to play for fun.