How pious lies affect children

Lying is a defense mechanism that people use naturally in different situations such as avoiding being judged, protecting our self-esteem, etc. But we must know that this defense mechanism is false, since it can lead to self-deception and emotional discomfort. How children learn to lie This mechanism

Lying is a defense mechanism that people use naturally in different situations such as avoiding being judged, protecting our self-esteem, etc.

But we must know that this defense mechanism is false, since it can lead to self-deception and emotional discomfort.

How children learn to lie

This mechanism is innate, but it can also be taught. In the case of children, it is the parents, above all, those who serve as a mirror and model to imitate. When parents teach to lie, they can do it directly and indirectly: Se - It is taught indirectly, for example, in situations where they call to sell something and tell their children to say they are not at home

- It is taught directly in situations where children receive a gift they do not like and their parents teach them to say yes for commitment.

Children always have their parents as a guide, since they assume that everything they are taught is fine, and it is the parents who should set an example. But this is not always the case because parents accustomed to lying always justify them and do not realize that the problem is that they are teaching their children lies as an escape route.

These parents do not understand the consequences that this kind of pious lies can become a habitual repertory in parenting. Children learn many of these early signs and lessons about social behavior by observing their parents and incorporating them into various facets of their life such as at school, with their friends and teachers. The learned behaviors will serve them to invent and always have an excuse or not to fulfill their responsibilities. That's why it's important for parents to evaluate and be aware that they are a big influence for their children and should be focused on educating on values ​​rather than on perfection.Why parents lie to children

What motivates parents to lie to their children is primarily emotional. They resort to this emotional character to protect their children and

avoid unnecessary suffering

. For example, avoid telling the child that he has done something wrong.

Second, he uses the lie to control his behavior. Like, for example, telling him that if he continues to misbehave, the police will come.

Many times, even parents who promote the value of honesty in their children, use pious lies. They do this because they believe that the little ones are not prepared to hear the truth and will not understand it. The most recurrent pious lies that parents use with their childrenThere is a study that shows that the parents use the pious lie, on average, once up to date. We can find the following:

- 'If you eat everything, you will get very big'. When it is really genetics that deals with this need.

- 'I do not know where your toy is'. Phrase that your mother could say when she had disposed of your favorite toy.

- 'If you do not behave well ... The kings will bring you coal'. Sometimes we have behaved badly and that has not happened. True?

- 'The park today is closed'. Or rather, today I do not feel like taking you to play at the park.

- 'That drawing is phenomenal'.

- 'We're going to get there now'. Those long car trips that we now suffer as parents.