For some years the tendency of the schools is to separate twins, twins or triplets in different classes. As a mother of twins, my reaction at first was negative, since my daughters had always been together and it was quite traumatic for them to start the school stage as well as to separate them into
For some years the tendency of the schools is to separate twins, twins or triplets in different classes. As a mother of twins, my reaction at first was negative, since my daughters had always been together and it was quite traumatic for them to start the school stage as well as to separate them into two different classes.
Why do they separate the twins at school?
The school convinced me, alleging some supposed reasons in which it was "proven" that it was better for the brothers since that would strengthen their identity, they would open up more to the group and they would not compete with each other. After that, the girls started in separate classes, although they could be seen at recesses and the first week they were allowed to see each other, if they were very sad, from time to time in the middle of classes.
One of them, the one most dependent on her sister, began to have problems that we already thought resolved such as peeing in bed, she fought at home with her sister for everything, she became more competitive and complained that the new friends of her sister constantly hoarded her and would not let her play with her during breaks.
The fact is that we saw how the self-confidence descended quickly and claimed more of the presence of her twin when they were not in school. We thought that it was a normal process of the beginning of the school and that it would happen, however, the girls are already 7 years old and one of them still has difficulties to relate that the other and the competitions between them are stronger than ever, especially when their teachers do not go hand in hand in teaching, chinchandose for who has less homework or who has less to study less.
Separate twins in class: yes or no?
We thought that the problems I had at school were the result of their weaker and dependent character, but we did not realize the true reasons until recently a study arrived at my hands where it was proved that the allegations that the schools give to separate twins are totally unfounded no and are not based on any real study, and demonstrating, on the other hand, that these separations were counterproductive because they ran the risk of children having all those symptoms that I noticed in one of my daughters . So, reflecting on these four years ago, we realized that, in our case, separation has been disastrous and that has caused my daughter insecurity and loneliness that has led her to a greater dependence even on her sister.
In the study, it is not advisable to apply separation as a school norm
, especially in the first years of school life, and it is proposed that parents can choose what is best for their children, something that rarely happens. Many of the parents of twins have their children separated (and I do not want to say the triplets where there are two together in the same class and only one), applying this absurd norm that does not individualize each case and without listening to the parents' opinions. .The Dutch psychologist Coks Feenstra, author of The Great Book of the Twins, says that in many cases this separation is wrong, since
studies show that children have a hard time and that many of them suffer anxiety disorders, withdrawal , backward movement and even poor academic results. If you are in that situation you should choose what you think is best for your children, you are the ones who know them best, and not let the separation rule as a rule.