Bullying is an issue that concerns millions of parents around the world. Any child can suffer harassment, and that is why we should remain alert before any indication. The psychologist María José Ruiz Pastor answers all our doubts about bullying. 10 questions from parents about bullying or bullying
Bullying is an issue that concerns millions of parents around the world. Any child can suffer harassment, and that is why we should remain alert before any indication.
The psychologist María José Ruiz Pastor answers all our doubts about bullying.
10 questions from parents about bullying or bullying
1. What signs make us suspect that bullying exists? In many children, what you see is a change in behavior. Children often do not verbalize what happens to them, but we notice problems with sleep, problems with food, irritability, depression ... In older children we see that they are socially isolated, that they stop having friends, that at recesses they prefer to be alone. All these types of behaviors indicate that something is wrong and that is when we have to intervene to see what is happening. The ideal is to talk with him, listen to him a lot and we should also go to school, talk with the teacher and put measures to alleviate that suffering in the child.
2. What is the profile of the child being harassed? In principle, any child can suffer harassment, but bullies usually choose their victims very well: they tend to be more submissive and withdrawn children, with fewer friends and social support. They know who they can get into and who they can not ... if they have to choose a child with whom to leave more strengthened, they will be the weakest.
3. How to distinguish harassment from a fight at school? To be considered harassment is something that occurs repeatedly. A fight can be impulsive, but you can separate them, they calm down and it does not have to happen again. If there is a child who treats another child badly repeatedly, with aggression, humiliation, isolating him, blaming him ... that is already abuse, because it is something that is maintained over time.
4. How to get the child to tell what happens to him? Many times the parents of the bullied child are informed by other parents or classmates of their child who notify them. In that case you have to go talk to the teacher. The school in that case activates a protocol: the child is observed and what is happening is observed. If they see that a child can never play because they do not let him ... we have to intervene and work so that everyone can integrate.
5. Should we teach children to act when they see another child being harassed? There are children who intervene and even report a case of harassment. But it is not a comfortable situation, because the stalker also turns against him. Those brave children must be reinforced a lot, since that is the behavior that everyone should have.
6. Is the child who suffers harassment afraid? Many times they fear reprisals from the group. Many times the harassment occurs in places that are not monitored, and are afraid of being labeled a 'sneak'. Many times these children feel guilty about what happens to them. From the beginning you have to tell them that he is not the culprit.
7. How should the parents of abusive children react? Sometimes it is the school that calls the parents of an abusive child and they do not know it. Many times it is not a child that has a low performance. They are very popular children, who have many friends, very good grades and at home they behave very well, but at school, for whatever reason, they are getting involved with another child. If they tell us from school that our son does that, even if it surprises us, we should accept it, and talk to our son, to see why he has that behavior, without blaming him directly. You have to look for why he does it. And they always have to repair the damage they have done. You have to feel guilt and repent.
8. Is bullying the same in boys as in girls? Ac Harassment usually manifests differently. Children are more impulsive and tend more to physical and verbal aggression. Girls tend more to empty the other, to isolate it socially, and to have their group exclude it, but as they get older, aggressive behaviors occur in both cases. 9. From what age can bullying occur?
Beginning at 6 or 7 years old, children begin to be aware of what they can do. 10. Is there more bullying now?
It has always existed, but before it was said 'it's a child thing' and now we are more aware of the damage it does: we know that children come out with very low self-esteem and that it has a psychological damage on children.