How parents can use Mindfulness

How many times are parents immersed in an attack of nerves, anger, lack of control with their children? How many times do you listen to yourself repeating the phrases of your own parents that you swore never to repeat? How many times do they wonder why they do not enjoy their children anymore? The p

How many times are parents immersed in an attack of nerves, anger, lack of control with their children? How many times do you listen to yourself repeating the phrases of your own parents that you swore never to repeat? How many times do they wonder why they do not enjoy their children anymore?

The practice of Mindfulness or mindfulness can be a great help to disconnect from that 'autopilot' that causes you to react in an uncontrolled way, and begin to respond consciously. It is what is called the practice of conscious fatherhood. Know from where you educate and why we do what we do. That is why conscious parenthood helps to be open, attentive, flexible and compassionate parents.

Mindfulness teaches to be a responsible father

There is no perfect father, yes the father respondable. Mindfulness does not say how to educate. It helps to realize how to educate, and to decide responsibly how to educate. A conscious fatherhood does not imply a perfection, but a great responsibility on the part of the adult.

Many times at the bottom of many conflicts is the desire, not always recognized, to have a different child than the one you have, one that responds to your own expectations or wishes. And only when you open your eyes and you are able to see the greatness of the child, clearly and cleanly from your own expectations, can you really want and enjoy that love. In the end, it is accepting, without judgment, that children are what they are, not what you want them to be.

How parents can use Mindfulness

Ideally, to get into the practice of Mindfulness is to do it with a professional who accompanies it. While the key is ongoing practice, it is important, at least initially, a guide to accompany the process.

Usually begins with breathing, which becomes the anchor to the present. When one's own breathing is heard, one is completely in the present. From there, and thanks to different practices, one is becoming more and more aware of where he is, of what are his physical sensations, his emotions and his thoughts in each moment.

Example of how to use Mindfulness in everyday life

It is eight o'clock at night, and tired or tired of the whole day, one prepares to keep in the lockers of his children the clothes that he has just ironed.

There are several options:

a) Wear clothes by inertia, without knowing what you think, simply as an automaton. It is something that one has very learned and does without realizing it.

b) Wear clothes thinking about what happened that day at work.

c) Wear clothes thinking about how late it is, how tired you are and that you still have to make dinner.

d) Carry clothes slowly, observing them, being aware of who owns those clothes. Even smiling subtly. Feeling through those clothes that have been ironed with love, all the love you feel for your son or daughter. Smelling freshly ironed clothes. Opening the drawers slowly, placing it carefully. Being aware of what is done in that moment, and enjoying it.

This may sound complicated, or even stupid. You may think 'wow! With everything I have to do now to save the clothes with love! I'm not able to do it. '

It is not as difficult as it seems, but it is not very easy either. But everyone can do it if he wants to. And this is the key: wanting to do it, or at least try it. The benefits are enormous, and the change that occurs in oneself and in those around us is almost overwhelming. You just have to try.

As Myla Kabt-Zinn says, every time one chooses kindness instead of cruelty, understanding instead of judgment, acceptance instead of repentance, children grow and become stronger.