When the information about the adopted child is false

Before an adoption, as a mother or father, it is normal to ask yourself what your child's life was like before you knew him and if they have loved him, they have taken care of him, If there was a good pregnancy ... How can you access this information? The truth is that you can not. In many cases of

Before an adoption, as a mother or father, it is normal to ask yourself what your child's life was like before you knew him and if they have loved him, they have taken care of him, If there was a good pregnancy ... How can you access this information? The truth is that you can not.

In many cases of adoption, the data that reaches the adoptive parents are scarce and even erroneous. It's something we have to tell.

When the information about the adopted child is not true

The information you will have about your adopted child is small and it is very likely that it is not real due to several factors: Hay 1. There is unknown information:

dates of birth, conditions of delivery, if it has been vaccinated, of what ... This happens because: - The biological families belong to a different society and culture in which these facts are not contemplated and / or not recorded.

- The biological families are outside the health and social systems so that there was no record of their existence.

- The information that is handled is invented or decorated for different reasons: The information is unknown and you have to fill in those gaps or the actual information is not what you want and the adoptive parents will not want to adopt the child.

2. Most adoption applications seek the smallest possible and healthiest child pattern.

The higher it is and the more pathologies there are, the more difficult it will be for its adoption to be achieved, and keeping a child in a center is expensive for governments. Therefore, in many of the adoptions, especially international, it is believed that the children who have adopted are older than the chronological age that appears in their history, which causes many medical and behavioral surprises during the child's development.

What to do when the adopted child's information is false

What you can and should do is to prepare yourself to be an unconditional parent and if you feel that you are not willing to face and handle certain situations, you should calmly rethink if the adoption is for you . Think that

having a child is a decision that should not be reversed and it's okay to have doubts or to decide that you do not want to adopt. Being the father of an adopted child has its peculiarities and you should always focus on the child's side as a victim of the situation. It is important to assume that, in order for you to become a father through adoption, some hard and serious event must occur in a child and in your family for that adoption to take place. It's as if you're waiting for a transplant: someone has to lose so you can win. And you may have had bad luck but, of course, someone is having worse.

Accepting this is your first job as a father or mother because it will allow you to make a good development of your situation and accept without misgivings your child and his story that, like it or not, exists and there it is. In addition, that story, unknown to you and probably for him, is not easy to accept for your son and it is your duty to be there and accompany him in his doubts, questions, fears ... but for that, you must be very sure of your role, of your position and accept it. If you do not accept it, you will not be able to help your son to do it;

and a father must give stability and security .