Why are there children who behave better with dad or with mom
Sometimes there are parents who complain that their children behave wonderfully when they are with their partners alone, but when they are with them the thing changes and it seems that children are transformed and behave in a totally different way, especially when children are younger. Tantrums can
Sometimes there are parents who complain that their children behave wonderfully when they are with their partners alone, but when they are with them the thing changes and it seems that children are transformed and behave in a totally different way, especially when children are younger.
Tantrums can be a way to express this negative behavior, and it should be remembered that a tantrum not only manifests itself in children of 2 years, it can manifest itself even in adults, but in a different way. But these tantrums usually manifest themselves when two-year-old children do not have enough verbal skills to express what they feel at that moment, but when they start to grow up they also happen when they can not express in words the emotions inside them.
Why the child behaves better with dad or with mom
Mothers for all children symbolize protection and the response to the needs of children, so innately children associate their mothers with survival. In this sense, children will increase their behavior to get their mother's attention in the way they can when they feel that some of these aspects are not met.
Parents, on the other hand, represent trust, risks and games for children. So children do not feel so desperate to get their parents' attention unless they need something more concrete that is not met by either party. But they do not feel that survival connection they feel with mothers.
Children can behave differently with a father or a mother to get the attention they crave at that moment. For example, if a mother or father gives attention to children when they have a tantrum or a tantrum, this behavior may be prolonged as the child will have learned that his tantrums have a response from that parent and will try to call your attention in this way.
Solutions for the father or mother who suffers this situation
When this happens the father or mother who notices that his son behaves worse when he is at his side, may have some solutions down his sleeve.
1. The first thing that should be worked on are the verbal skills of the child depending on the age he or she has and to be able to help him put words to his emotions. If the child is very small you will have to help him calm down without paying attention to the tantrum and use, for example, the bottle of calm (Montessori pedagogy).
2. When the child stops having a tantrum with the help of his parents, he should be congratulated so that he understands that he is able to calm down and be able to redirect his behavior in the presence of the father or mother with whom he behaves better. But in no case should you be told phrases like: 'You behave worse with me than with your father / mother', 'You are bad with me', etc. These phrases will only help to reaffirm the negative behavior.
