Assertiveness is closely linked to self-esteem. Children from very young fear being rejected or criticized, something that will make them sometimes shut up when they want to talk. When the children begin to hear the first thing we want is for them to learn to carry out orders and to follow instructi
Assertiveness is closely linked to self-esteem. Children from very young fear being rejected or criticized, something that will make them sometimes shut up when they want to talk.
When the children begin to hear the first thing we want is for them to learn to carry out orders and to follow instructions, but often the parents forget the most important thing: we must teach the children to learn to speak and to express themselves.
Why help the child to be assertive
Children who know how to see their needs are more likely to have a better self-esteem, to have better communication skills and also, when they know how to express their emotions and preferences can better resist the pressure of the group . They can ask for help when they need it, they can say no when they do not want to say yes and they will begin to feel confident, something essential for a child to learn to be assertive.
For many children assertiveness is a learned behavior for what has nothing to do with something innate. To be assertive you need to practice it every day. And the best place to practice the skills that are most complicated in the outside world is in the safety and understanding of your own home.
Tips to help the child be more assertive
1. Be a model of assertiveness. You are the example and role model of your children, so your child will copy and learn from you absolutely everything. Defend your points of view without entering into aggressiveness. Also let your children expose their opinions even though you may feel uncomfortable, but do not expect your child to be assertive if you are not first.
2. Living in a democratic home. Talk to your children about all that is necessary, hold discussions. Make family meetings and listen to the opinion of each child. Remember that listening and respecting your opinions does not mean that you have to agree with their points of view. When children know how to give their opinion, they will be more likely to talk and feel comfortable speaking for themselves. The best place for children to learn to speak assertively is at home, so make sure your children have the opportunity to speak and be heard.
3. Talk about rights with children. Children need to know that their opinions are valued and that they have the right to say what they think. Sit with your child and create a list of children's rights, you can start with the basics; 'you have the right to say no', 'you have the right to be angry', 'you have the right to feel and express anger', etc. Encourage your child to add things to the list and create a poster of rights for their room. This way you will feel more motivated to be able to express your emotions correctly.