Sexuality: sex education for children

Many parents wonder how they can give their children a good sex education when they have not received it. Addressing this issue with children can be complicated and it is necessary to find the way and the way to do it naturally. The psychologist Mónica Poblador , specialist in Sexual Education of th

Many parents wonder how they can give their children a good sex education when they have not received it. Addressing this issue with children can be complicated and it is necessary to find the way and the way to do it naturally. The psychologist Mónica Poblador, specialist in Sexual Education of the Álava-Reyes Consultores cabinet opens the doors to us to know more about the subject of sexual education for children in this interview granted exclusively to

Good sex education: from parents to children

How is sexuality defined?As a definition, 'sexuality is the way in which each person lives, feels and expresses himself as a sexed person, with a sexed body'. Therefore, we talk about everything that has to do with: the body and its reactions, with affectivity and the expression of emotions, with pleasure and desire, with the need to bond with other people, with self-acceptance and self-esteem, with communication and with the integral and healthy development of people.

How can we explain sexuality to children?
Sex education is not only giving information about sexual organs, reproduction or contraceptives, but also talking about communication, affectivity, responsibility and pleasure. Children can be explained that sexuality is one of the ways that people have to communicate, give us love and pleasure, and have fun together. As parents and as mothers we have to know, there are two sexes, man and woman, but there are many ways to build as a man and as a woman.

What do we want to do sex education for? What are the objectives?
The goal is for our sons and daughters to learn to know each other, to accept each other and to express their eroticism so that they are happy. Que1. That they learn to know each other: it means more than knowing what menstruation or nocturnal pollution is. It implies knowing how we are and how we function. How we react to things, what emotions we have and how we express them ... It also includes knowing others, and not only those of the opposite sex but knowing more about myself. Que 2. That they learn to accept themselves: that they are comfortable with their body and their way of being and acting. That they feel that there is nobody better or worse than them or that they in this aspect. That in sexuality the whole world is unique and peculiar and that all men are true men and all women are true women.
3. There are many ways to express our desires and affection: words, looks, hugs, caresses, hugs, compliments, nibbles. The erotic is changing throughout the stages of life. Coitus is another way of expressing our desires, but not the only one.
4. That they are happy, it may seem an ambitious goal, but I think that as fathers and mothers, we can not, nor do we want to aspire to less.
This conception of sexuality means working for what you want to achieve, not only for what you want to avoid.
What are the parents wrong when talking about sexuality with their children?
First, all parents are trained to do sex education. To do quality sex education from the role of the family you do not have to be sexologists or sexologists. The main mistake that parents can make is to interpret the infantile manifestations of sexuality with adult eyes. Child sexuality is little differentiated and poorly organized in relation to that of the adult person. There are no strictly erotic sensations as in the adult person. Nor is it a sexuality centered on the genital and procreation, of course. As is logical, if the wishes do not seem clear, much less the possible orientation of these.

Can we see it clearer with an example?
Imagine a mother or father who has the habit of massaging her baby after bathing. He does it with all care and affection, and the baby enjoys it. All goes well until one day the adult observes how the child's genitals respond to stimulation with an erection. The reality is that the genitalia of the baby boy or girl are innervated, that they have sensitivity and capacity to transmit pleasant sensations, that they can respond mechanically! to certain stimuli. But from there to consider that there is something similar to the adult erotic, there is an abyss.

What should not be missing in a good sex education?- Recognize and express emotions: attachment, affection, affection ... there are many ways to prove it.

- Talk about sexuality as something everyday. And show availability for dialogue.
- Naturalness, authenticity. There are as many sexualities as there are people. Respect.
- Assume that we are role models, referents for our sons and daughters.
- Know that we educate by generating values, attitudes ... and prepare for future stages, because the construction of the person begins at birth and continues throughout life. It is advisable to think and share as a couple and / or with other adults about our conception of sexuality, our doubts, our fears.
Marisol Nuevo.
Source consulted:

the text is taken from

"Building Sexualities"(CEAPA, 2008) and other publications ofCarlos de la Cruz. Director Official Master in Sexology UCJC.