The intimacy of children
Between 11 and 13 years old our children will start claiming more privacy, prefer to shower and dress themselves and find spaces to listen to their music, read or lie down to think. It is possible that you have already begun to detect this behavior in your children, and before worrying you should kn
Between 11 and 13 years old our children will start claiming more privacy, prefer to shower and dress themselves and find spaces to listen to their music, read or lie down to think.
It is possible that you have already begun to detect this behavior in your children, and before worrying you should know that this is a time of transition and changes to which parents should also adapt.
At what age do children need their space and privacy?
Why do children need privacy? Should we leave for example to close the door of his room?
If you are the father or mother of a preadolescent child, you may have noticed that for some time now your child has begun to reclaim his space, seeks more privacy when dressing and showering, but also spaces to be alone with himself. Between 11 and 13 years, perhaps a little earlier in some cases, children need their spaces and we, as parents, must know how to give them respecting their privacy.
Preadolescence is characterized, precisely, by an attempt on children to leave behind their childhood and break with family ties, an increase in the sense of modesty and shame towards their own body, as well as a great sensitivity to criticism of others, fear of making a fool of themselves and, of course, a growing need for independence and therefore of intimacy in the home.
Knowing this, allowing our sons and daughters to spend time alone with the door of their closed room should not pose any problem, since children of this age need these spaces to know themselves better and reaffirm their personality.
Why children need privacy
If what worries us is the cyber world, what they see, read or discover on the internet or the type of relationships established through social networks we can adopt different measures such as having computers in places of the house and apply parental controls that restrict the places where they can access.
At this age it is also normal that they start looking for answers about their sexuality, feel excited and the need to masturbate appears. We should never be alarmed at this normal and natural behavior unless it becomes a compulsive activity. As long as we naturally accept this behavior, which is part of our children's sexual development, we can guarantee an adequate emotional climate for our children and we, their parents, will know how to close the doors when they need it.
Added to this need for privacy is the need to preserve your privacy, that is, it is not convenient for us to criticize or explain details of your personal life to other people. If they want to explain something, we must allow them to expose themselves and respect that if they do not want to do so, they have the right to abstain. That said, it is important just as it is in other stages of children's development, we do not compare them with their siblings, cousins or acquaintances, they are unique and unrepeatable, with their pluses and minuses and we must know how to accept them just like They are.
Our children need understanding parents not permissive, as I always say, and this means being parents that understand their changes, accessible parents when they need us, parents willing to listen, to agree and understand but also firm parents with norms and clear limits, parents who know how to redirect when they are wrong and know how to extend that hand that comforts them when they are lost. Sr father is not easy but for a child to grow up it is not easy either.
