Children who do not let others talk
Children who do not let others talk, who do not wait for us to finish telling something and are already responding, who do not listen. Why do they behave like this? The reasons can be many, partly depending on the child's age, partly on their personal characteristics, but whatever the reason, we mus
Children who do not let others talk, who do not wait for us to finish telling something and are already responding, who do not listen. Why do they behave like this?
The reasons can be many, partly depending on the child's age, partly on their personal characteristics, but whatever the reason, we must teach them some basic rules of communication and behavior.
Why the child does not let others talk
- This way of behaving is very common in young children from 3 to 4 years old. At this age, children have not yet learned the rules of behavior, on the other hand they are very impulsive, and they fear that if they do not say what they are thinking at the moment, they will forget what they want to say and have to say it at that precise moment . Hay - There are children who do not let others talk because they are usually in a stage where they still believe that the world revolves around them ((egocentric stage) so they do not care about others, they will talk and say what they want when they want. Puede - It may also be that our child is a charlatan, that he is a que child who in general speaks a lotand without stopping, who seems not to listen when they speak to him so we must also teach him how to act and how to participate in conversations. Hay - There are cases in which the child is already more "older" (remember that between 3 and 6 years that interrupts can be normal) let's say that
wants to be the center of attention . Let's take an example. We are in the park or anywhere else and we start talking with a friend, and our son immediately arrives and "gets into" the conversation. He does not stop asking what we are talking about, he gives his opinion, he tells us a story that has happened to him at school ... that is ... he claims to be the center of attention.- Another case, which we can not ignore, is the case of
impulsive children or those with attentional problems . These children, because of their personal characteristics, have problems to regulate their behavior and they are usually children who do not finish listening to what we are saying or asking and they are already answering, they move forward. In any case, for whatever reason, that a child interrupts us constantly is an annoying situation, which can lead us to scold the child and get angry with him. But it is important that parents know how to act and how to teach the child to respect both the turns of the word and the conversations of others.
What can parents do with children who do not allow others to talk Ante - Before children who do not let others talk first, act calmly and calmlyand be very clear about how we are going to redirect this situation.
- The first thing we must keep in mind is that we must establish limits and teach him when and how he can interrupt.If my son interrupts me while I talk to another person, and I leave the conversation and I listen to him, the message I send him is "you decide how and when I talk to others" when what we have to teach him is precisely the opposite. En - The moment you interrupt me, I must make it clear to you, that this is not the moment, that you should wait a bit and I will attend to you. How do I do it? How much is "a little" for a child? To do this, we can look at the child, get up to him, and say "honey, now I'm talking to this person, when this thing is over, it will be up to you to tell me what you want, so do not forget what you want to tell me, huh? " I can hold his hand so he knows I do not forget him or leave his hand on his shoulder.
If the child keeps insisting, ignore him, he already knows that you will listen to him but not at that moment
. And if he still continues and has a tantrum, take him to another side, and tell him that this way you will not pay attention to him, that he has to wait and that you will be with him immediately.
- Keep in mind that children do not understand time like adults , and that what for me is 5 minutes for him is an eternity, so we must take this into account, and if I said "right away" I'm with you ", I must attend after a while. I stop my conversation and tell him, what did you want? and then I return to mine.
- We also have to teach him how to interrupt, for example, teach him that if you are with another person, and he wants to tell you something, he can approach you, take you by the hand, and you will know he wants to tell you something and as soon as you finish you will attend him. Por - On the other hand, what if you want to tell me something very important and why interrupt abruptly? It is important to teach the child when something is important, (someone has fallen, something has happened that requires an adult, the house floods me) or when not, (I want to have a snack, I want you to buy me a chuche, look at me ...) This will take time, because as children all that happens to them is the most important thing in the world. - When we talk to a child who does not respect the speaking shifts, we must teach him how to do it. Now I speak, now you speak. At home we can practice
. We can play asking ourselves questions about what we have done in the day, first I ask and you answer and then you and I answer questions. If we are on our turn and interrupts us, we will say, "I have not finished yet, wait and now it will be your turn". If the child interrupts me while I talk on the phone, I stop the conversation for a second, I say "now I can not love, I'm talking on the phone" we can give a "mission" to do while I speak and as soon as I finish talking I will him and I asked him what he wanted.In summary:
- We have to set limits to the children, as with everything. Clear rules and limits that help them regulate their behavior.
- Teach them
basic conversation patterns : speaking turns, how to interrupt, when to do it ...-
Reinforce those situations in which they do it well so that they know that this is what we want and ignore or correct those in which the child do not do what we want to teach him, (that is, when he interrupts).-
Patience, patience and patience
. Children are not born learned, we must teach them how to act, how to relate and this is not an easy or quick task. So a lot of patience and few anger.
- Make the child see that it is important, but not the center of everything, to help him little by little to get out of that typical egocentricity of children, but without making him feel displaced.
