Consequences of divorce in children

Separations are hard, hurt the heart and it is always said that children suffer the most. The psychologist Javier Montoya author of the conference 'children are not divorceable' states that this is given by the mishandling of the parents of the breakup. So how should a divorce be handled so that it

Separations are hard, hurt the heart and it is always said that children suffer the most. The psychologist Javier Montoya author of the conference 'children are not divorceable' states that this is given by the mishandling of the parents of the breakup. So how should a divorce be handled so that it affects children as little as possible?

What should not be done after a divorce

- Blaming the other: in spaces where the child is present, it is often used to cry, complain, victimize and blame the other spouse in front of him. Montoya says "regardless of how hurt we are, for the child it is very important to feel the approval of each one against the other". Usar - Using the child to manipulate the other:

the expert affirms that we must understand that after the custody decision the mere fact of staying with one of the two saddens the child "is like taking the heart and splitting it in two. The child is left with an affective part outside his space and with another affective part inside. "- Dramatize when the child leaves with the other:

regardless of whether the child goes for a walk or to stay, the other spouse should not cry in front to him or to be depressed when he says goodbye, because according to the psychologist "the child feels guilt, he feels an actor responsible for what happened between father and mother". - Prohibit the other spouse from seeing the child:

The prohibition affects the child more than the censored parent, since the child has a great love for both of them. For the psychologist it is necessary to understand that after the forgiveness the family grows. Children facing parents' divorce

When parents are separated, children often manifest anxiety, fear, sadness and anger. All these emotions in the child are causing problems of school dropout, bullying and this happens, according to the expert, because "they unload the anger they have against the father and mother because for them there is a culprit of separation."

Since they do not know how to express it, they take it to school through their bad behavior "breaking the notebook of their classmates, throwing their hair to another or kicking, crying easily, showing demotivation in the studio, problems of dispersion and extreme vulgarity "Behaviors that according to Montoya are evidence of that loss of self-esteem.

Recommendations of Guiainfantil.com:

Both parents must go to a therapy that allows them to perform a duel, a closure and generate agreements. 'When there is maturity, agreements of accompaniment and presence, when sadness is not a reason for emotional manipulation, when anger is not exercised in the emotional spaces of the child, we can say that

children are not divorced because they deserve the presence, the image of a father and a mother, regardless of the agreements made in a separation. ' The specialist concludes.