How to communicate to the children separation or divorce of the parents
One of the things that worries most fathers and mothers is how to communicate the situation of divorce or separation. If already making that decision is complicated for the family, it becomes more difficult when there are also children involved. In this case, you should not only think about the sepa
One of the things that worries most fathers and mothers is how to communicate the situation of divorce or separation. If already making that decision is complicated for the family, it becomes more difficult when there are also children involved. In this case, you should not only think about the separation, but how to explain it to the children and how the children will coexist with their parents from that moment on.
We give you some tips to guide you in this difficult moment. Take into account all this when communicating the decision made with your partner: we tell you how to communicate to the children the separation or divorce of the parents.
5 golden rules to communicate to the children separation or divorce of the parents
There are a number of issues that must be taken into account when communicating to the children the decision of separation or divorce of the couple. These are the 'golden rules' to consider:
1. Children do not divorce.Parents are divorced, not children. Our obligation is to try to ensure that the children are influenced as little as possible by the decision that the couple has just made. Obviously it will influence them, because their family will be different from that moment. But you can always do everything possible because this decision does not have a particularly negative impact on your children.
2. The communication must be jointly by father and mother. The parents must communicate the decision in a calm and joint manner, as if it had been a decision taken by the two of them in agreement (even if it is not true). And although it was one of the two who made the decision to end a relationship, the child must receive the news as if it had been a joint decision of father and mother.
3. Avoid sentimentality. When you transmit that decision, which is hard, you should avoid taking yourself by the emotions. Do not tinge the situation with an excess of emotion. Obviously, there will be emotions, that is inevitable, but you must try not to look like a drama or the child understands that this rupture is the end of the world for you.
4. Always preserve the right of children to have a good image of both parents. It is difficult to keep your composure in some cases, but even if it is complicated, try by all means not to criticize, blame or insult your partner in front of the children.
5. Try to keep calm and keep the routines. You must explain to your child what his day-to-day will be like from now on. Who do they stay with? Who is going? Where is it going? When will he be with his mother? When with your father? Who will take you and pick you up from school? You must be clear about what the relationship with your parents will be like from that moment. Solve all your doubts as many times as necessary. It is important to keep the routines of the children, that their life changes as little as possible. That the decisions on their routines are taken by common consent and by consensus, because otherwise, insecurities and conflicts are created in children that they do not know how to solve.
In short, it is about making this transition easier for children, forgetting about our conflicts as adults and focusing on the welfare of our children.