Pouring sermons to children ... does it work?

With the best of intentions, as always, we lecture children with the hope that this monologue in which we have placed ourselves will bear the fruits we want: that our children will obey us and become more responsible. But, to give sermons to children ... does it work? We answer this question and pro

But, to give sermons to children ... does it work? We answer this question and propose some simple guidelines to improve our communication so that children listen to us.

Sermons for bad child behavior: yes or no

It is likely that on some occasion, trying to correct the behavior of your child, you have resorted to the typical sermon, reprimand or reprimand. All of them are habitual ways that parents use trying to get children to obey us or take, in the future, more accurate decisions.

However, preaching to children, as well as scolding them to modify their behavior, is an ineffective technique with very poor results, both medium and long term. Sermons, like screams, reprimands or scolding, do not offer children the skills or strategies to modify their behavior and for this reason are not effective.

Sermons block communication and prevent parent-child relationships from flowing properly. The sermons, no matter how well-intentioned, carry an implicit negative message: that of distrust. Distrust in what they have done, in their ability to change, in their criteria, in their possibilities, ... This implicit distrust in the sermon causes the children to close in a band, stop listening, become defensive and sit down resentful

In short, giving sermons to children does not work. However, this does not mean that we should not talk to our children or stop explaining what we expect from them. It is evident that one of our obligations as parents is to provide our children with the opportunity to learn both what they do well and what they have done wrong. But we must do so by explaining it clearly and doing it briefly and not on the basis of sermons that provide more information than necessary and put them on the defensive.

Guidelines for not lecturing and improving communication with children

To stop lecturing we must start by trusting our children and learning to communicate with them in a more effective and positive way. These simple guidelines can help you improve communication with your children:

- Use language appropriate to the child's age and maturity. Ponte - Stand at your level, look him in the eye when you speak to him, do not do it over him. To do this, kneel, crouch or sit down.

- Listen to what he has to tell you. Do not fall into the monologue.

Respect your turn, do not interrupt. - Trust your possibilities.

Allow the error and understand it as a possibility of improvement. - Ask without feeling intimidated.

- Do not rush to give your opinion and judge

Control your emotions and impulse s. Stop and think before reacting negatively to a conflict. Avoid lecturing, threatening, criticizing or saying hurtful things.- Change the "you" messages by the "me" messages. For example, try to change the "You have returned to lie to me" by "I feel bad when you lie to me".

The education and upbringing of our children require great doses of love and patience, but also of limits and discipline where dialogue should never be lost since it is key to maintaining a healthy emotional relationship with them. For this, we parents should strive to learn to listen to children properly and speak to them in the appropriate language.