When the child is the center of our world
Do you know what infantolatry is? Parents usually want our children more than ourselves. We would even prefer to be bad ourselves than they are. We also strive to cover all your needs and desires above our own needs and desires. When we become parents we initiate a dynamic, in which our universe of
Do you know what infantolatry is? Parents usually want our children more than ourselves. We would even prefer to be bad ourselves than they are. We also strive to cover all your needs and desires above our own needs and desires.
When we become parents we initiate a dynamic, in which our universe of routines, activities, social encounters, works begins to revolve around our children. When we adapt constantly and at all times to the child, we fall into the infantolatría.
Infantolatry: when parents adapt to the child's routine
When our children are very young and especially if we are new parents, it seems that the world revolves exclusively around whether our child has to eat, sleep, eat or play. It seems that their schedules are incompatible with those we had taken until then so we are going adapting, renouncing and adapting to the needs of our son, renouncing our own.
This is not that this either good or bad, is a personal choice as long as we do not feel overwhelmed by this situation. We fathers and mothers find ourselves in situations in which we have to fulfill the wishes and, of course, the needs of our children, because we love them and do not want them to cry or suffer, or feel bad parents. However, this situation, taken to extremes, can mean that all family life revolves around our children over common sense or logic, even over some cases of our own health. In short, infantolatría happens when children are the center of the family and there is no room for anything other than them. What can we do? Where do you start to limit your wishes?
It is not a matter of education as you might think, it is not that children have to learn that there is a no or that they have to know that they can not have everything. Children simply believe that the world revolves around their desires. So, what does it mean to ensure that family life does not revolve around our son? It consists of knowing what capacity of frustration our son endures, there is the difficulty, in knowing that he will be able to resist our son and that no, that is what we have to promote in them, small frustrations that they can endure without arriving to enter the tantrum or the disconsolate crying that no longer serves to learn, but only as a discharge. We can provide them with frustra small frustrations that they can tolerate para, to increase and develop their capacity for frustration until they can bear the denial of their desires. In this way we will be able to grow and mature our children in tolerance of frustration.