4 Causes for children to contradict
Many parents complain that their children are against them in everything, that they reject everything they say or propose, children who want to get away with it at all costs , grumpy, fussy or grumbling children. Sometimes this misunderstood power struggle generates additional family stress that lea
Many parents complain that their children are against them in everything, that they reject everything they say or propose, children who want to get away with it at all costs , grumpy, fussy or grumbling children.
Sometimes this misunderstood power struggle generates additional family stress that leads to conflict and confrontation, if we want to avoid these negative dynamics we must understand why they behave in this way and how to act in each case or evolutionary moment.
Why children are grumbling and defiant
There are multiple causes why our child may be systematically taking the opposite, we point out 4 of them.
Phases of childhood and adolescence: The cognitive and emotional development of our children goes through a series of stages or phases in which they are capricious, grumpy and easily irritable. These are phases that we must know and manage properly to avoid conflicts of this age becoming entangled and becoming chronic. It is common stubbornness and oppositional behavior between 2 and 4 years, in the well-known phase of tantrums. Once again, about 7-9 years old and, mainly, in adolescence we live again moments of self-affirmation and protests.
Educational styles: Rigid, authoritarian and / or punitive educational styles can have the opposite effect of what is intended. Children can turn against authority limits, norms and figures. To make our behavior more flexible, to loosen up before some demands, to empathize with what they feel and desire can help to diminish the protests.
Learning negative behaviors: the best source of learning for a child is observation. Our children live permanently observing us, imitating us and testing behaviors they see and hear, whether they are appropriate or not. Under this premise we can understand how the demonstration of anger, bad faces or protests are learned behaviors. Be careful with the way of proceeding in front of them so as not to infect them with our negativity.
Jealousy: jealousy is another factor to take into account since they can change the behavior of our children in an almost radical way, a child that until now was a charm suddenly becomes a proteston that takes the opposite in every moment It happens that he probably needs to feel cared for and protest is his way of drawing our attention.
What to do if the child is against us
In summary, the protests of our children are a way to grow, to grow up, to assert themselves and to build their own self. In fact it is not so bad that they protest by indicating that they have other points of view or needs, as long as this is not a constant in our lives that hinders family coexistence.
The best we can do to a child who takes the opposite is to maintain patience and not enter sterile discussions. Adjusting to your age level, we will try to understand that disagreement exists in all areas of life, but that we can not always achieve what we want.
In the face of constant and high intensity protests we should seek specialized help, it is very likely that behind all these protests a much more serious problem will be hidden or that we will be mistaken in our way of educating.
