What to do if I want to adopt but my partner does not
There comes a time in life when you think you want to be a mom or dad and, you have to share that desire with your partner. As before any important decision: formalize the relationship, introduce families, live together, get married. There is a bit of fear to propose it, to reject us, not to be in t
There comes a time in life when you think you want to be a mom or dad and, you have to share that desire with your partner. As before any important decision: formalize the relationship, introduce families, live together, get married.
There is a bit of fear to propose it, to reject us, not to be in the same point and to let our story not go forward because neither of you are willing to give in. This is also the case with the approach to adopt.
When one member of the couple wants to have a child and another does not
When one member of the couple wants a child and the other does not, there is one of the most tense and stressful situations possible in a relationship. It is easy for you to feel the need to be a mom or dad as something very instinctive and essential to feel complete or fulfilled as a person in many cases. However, if one feels this way but the other does not, goals and priorities must be established. Am I willing to give up your desire to become a father or mother? Am I willing to be a father or mother even if I do not want to? How will this decision affect our relationship?
In the case of adoptions the approach is the same but something more complex as ideas, beliefs, myths come into play ... about how those processes are and how they affect families, which generate many doubts.
Questions to ask yourself if you want to be a father or mother
If you know you want to be a father, you have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself some questions: ¿1. Does my partner also want to be a mother or father?
- Yes, you want to be a mother or father: perfect, now you have to think about how you are going to be parents
- No, you do not want to be a mother or father: then you have to ask yourself
if you want to continue with the relationship by renouncing your motherhood or fatherhood , or fight for the latter in exchange for the consequences that may have for the couple.2. Do we want to adopt both?
- Yes. Well, then you should only go to inform yourself about the procedures involved and start the processes convinced. No. - No. Here, the options are the same as before: I choose to continue with my idea no matter what happens, even if I am alone or I give up in favor of the couple.
Why can not the couple be forced to adopt
You can never force a person who does not want to be a father to be a father, or to adopt if he is not convinced of it. It is your right to choose and you must have all the freedom in the world for it, and even if it does not match your wishes, you must respect it. That is a maxim that does not admit discussion for several reasons:
1. It is not fair for the child who arrives, who is not wanted by his father or his mother.
2. If you do something you do not believe in, you will not get involved and it is difficult then for things to succeed. Las 3. Things that are compulsory or pleasing the couple usually take their toll and turn against them in the form of reproach when there are difficulties. Ser 4. Being a father is a fundamental decision in life after which there is no turning back, so
one must be fully convinced
.
You have to have all these clear points because being a father is not an easy task and you should know that adoptions are more complex processes for all the things that you will not know about your son, therefore, be both agreed and convinced of the step, It is essential for the experience to be a success.
