What would happen if we gave our children the same thing that we received from them
In the wake of an anecdote told to me by a classmate who is a mother, she made me reflect on what we as parents give our children and what we really receive . Normally, parents usually give our children everything, even try to give them more than we really can, but do they do the same with us? It se
In the wake of an anecdote told to me by a classmate who is a mother, she made me reflect on what we as parents give our children and what we really receive . Normally, parents usually give our children everything, even try to give them more than we really can, but do they do the same with us?
It seems that we have a belief established among parents that tries to think that we have to give everything to our children and that we do not have to receive the same for that. And thanks to this anecdote I reflected on the subject and came to the conclusion that we must teach our children that they know how to give and receive in identical or similar proportions. At least in terms of effort, delicacy and dedication that we put into them. What if we gave our children the same thing we received from them?Many times we think that if we do not give them everything, they can be frustrated, but do they think about our frustrations? I invite you to reflect less on the subject.
The situation that I am going to describe refers to the problems that this mother has due to the lack of interest, effort and dedication that her 14 year old son shows before studying in this course.
This mother was watching the son repeating again and again that she studies, that she makes an effort, that she does her homework, etc ... something that sounds familiar to all parents with children of school age.
The son of this companion has good conditions for learning, is
smart , but it costs or does not want to start studying. (Zero effort)Every day you have to remind him to study: "study, study, that soon you have the
". The son does not stop to make excuses type: "I have changed the exam, I already know that, I put myself later, I studied in the institute",All the actions and decisions have their
consequence . And the consequence of the son was to get a 5 in the math exam that both he and the mother knew had 2 weeks ahead to prepare it. The mother during those two weeks insisted, making the son ignore the warnings andadvice from the mother.
The fact of taking a 5 out of the mother generated a lot of anger and decided to act looking for a confrontation that her son understood and felt the same as she was feeling.
On the weekend the child asked the mother if she could please make Bolognese macaroni, one of her favorite dishes and apparently one of the ones that best cooks the mother. Then the mother came up with the confrontation she would make to her son. The mother answered that she would make macaroni for the weekend, and could see the child's face little less than licking.The next day, when everyone is sitting at the table, the mother puts the plate of macaroni to her son: "Take, your bolognese macaroni", and he plants a dish of simplemente simply cooked macaroni sus in your noses, that is, white macaroni.The boy reacts angrily: "Mom, what's this, they're not bolognese, they're just macaroni, they look disgusting, these are not yours" ... To which she responds:
- These are macaroni of 5, the same note that you took in the math exam.
- Macaroni of 6 are with tomato.
- Macaroni of 7 are with minced meat. - Macaroni of 8 are with Parmesan cheese.- Macaroni of 9 are with oregano.
- Macaroni of 10 are gratins.
And he added: "I made the dish with the same
affection, effort and dedication
that you have done your math exam, which I insisted so much that you studied, therefore we have done the same thing".
The son was left with his mouth open and without words, he had a confrontation and an important awareness, since he had just felt the same anger that the mother felt. And this confrontation will surely make you act accordingly.
Adults are used to making our children's days always be 10. Try changing from time to time, to experience the feeling that they receive incomplete things, that is,