Between 3 and 6 years old, it is when parents usually have more problems to establish norms and enforce them in children. Up to 2-3 years old, children are usually easier to "manage", but after 3 years, the evolutionary and developmental changes in children make us begin to encounter "stones in the
Between 3 and 6 years old, it is when parents usually have more problems to establish norms and enforce them in children. Up to 2-3 years old, children are usually easier to "manage", but after 3 years, the evolutionary and developmental changes in children make us begin to encounter "stones in the road".
It is therefore at this stage when we have to set the educational norms and limits to achieve obedience in children between 3 and 6 years. How? We help you with a series of useful tips.
Obedience in early childhood
The child's language has evolved at a dizzying pace, they begin to develop their own identity so they start to face more adults, tantrums, replies, "I do not want, I do not like, why do I have to do this, "etc. But at the same time they are much more autonomous, they begin to understand little by little the world that surrounds them, they interact more with each other and with adults.
In this period, children understand better the norms that govern coexistence in the social world, so that the norms will be directed towards those scenarios. If until then, before 3 years, we focused on routines and habits at home that help them gain autonomy, now we can focus more on the rules and limits in the social field.
Therefore, in children between 3 and 6 years it is important that we focus on establishing social norms, (do not shout in the restaurant, do not run for the doctor's consultation, eat sitting or wait for we are all at the table to eat for example) and the consequences of not fulfilling them and reinforcing when they meet them.
In these years, they do not have very complex ideas about the norms and their rationality, but they know that they can not skip them because they will have a negative result(a reprimand). Children understand that the rules are to comply with them literally or if there are no negative consequences, (it is very wrong not to meet a standard), but we have to take into account two things:
- The first to be taught those standards . En - Secondly, we must be consistent and congruent, (meaning that the norm is always fulfilled and in the same circumstances) or they will not get to understand and internalize them.
On the other hand you have to think that until 6-7 years, the child normally focuses on one aspect of the situation or a point of view, (his own) does not take into account different points of view is what is called, childish egocentrism, and that is that he believes that everyone thinks like him.
A practical example of obedience in children between 3 and 6 years old
We go to some friends' house to have a snack, we take out a tray of cakes, and suddenly the child takes 3 and eats them. Have you behaved badly? We can think so, since adults usually wait for someone to start, we take only one, we do not finish with the tray. But the child, who does not know how to act and also thinks about him and his needs. Will think ... "if there are cakes and I love lame 3 and I eat them".
Do not think about social norms. Therefore you have to teach them little by little, or at least guide them. "If you want something to eat, ask mom and dad first," or, "until we tell you that you can start you can not eat cupcakes", or "you can take but only one because we are many and we all have to eat, if later you can catch another one ". In this way he guided his behavior and behavior. And so in all situations, (doctor, shops, restaurants ...).
How to teach children between 3 and 6 years old to obey
As in the previous stage, we must bear in mind that children can not stand a lot of time doing the same thing or doing nothing, and that if they get bored, they are more likely to they "behave badly"
After 3 years the tantrums stage begins, for which we must be prepared and know how to act.
The child thinks about him and his needs, and what he wants he already wants. We must bear in mind that before the child's tantrum, we must not give in to his wishes, we must explain the situation, (we got out of the park because it is late and we have to go to dinner), but be firm and not give up. That the child has a tantrum is normal, but before that tantrum, if I act sometimes very firm and sometimes flexible, what we are going to provoke is that to get what he wants to scream, cry and kick until he finally gets it.
Therefore to achieve obedience in children between 3 and 6 years old, it will be important: Ir - To introduce social norms
-To remain firm and coherent aplica, applying the reinforcements and the consequences that derive from their behaviors.
- Understand how the child is at this stage, taking advantage of their increasing autonomy,helping them to understand how the environment in which they move and develop works.
- Give example and teach with your own behavior.
- Be patient , the children are learning to be, but they still lack time and maturation.