There is a kind of competence that does not have to be harmful to the relationship between parents and children : the competition that makes the child feel motivated and the father or mother is pushing him towards a success that the child will achieve by himself. This type of competition is necessar
There is a kind of competence that does not have to be harmful to the relationship between parents and children: the competition that makes the child feel motivated and the father or mother is pushing him towards a success that the child will achieve by himself. This type of competition is necessary for children to develop fully and to feel that their parents trust him and their possibilities, because they see their parents as allies.
On the other hand, when competitiveness is lived with rivalry, when parents stop being guides to become enemies, then it becomes toxic and very dangerous.
How to know if you are competing with your children
No matter the context in which it occurs, it does not matter if the father or mother who competes with the child, doing so means having a toxic behavior in the parent-child relationship, a behavior that like everything toxic, will have negative consequences for both parties.
It is easy to know if you are competing or not with your children. Ask yourself a question: When you were a child, did you feel bad that others won you? Were you envious of those who overcame you?
A father who competes against the children (because it is never a healthy thing) will be the person no who does not allow the child to succeed on his own , or if he gets them the father or mother will remark how he / she in his past had better results and that it will not become the same as him / her in his glory days.This behavior is sad, mean, immature and narcissistic on the part of parents who do not realize that what they should do is forget those days of glory and fight so that their children are better than them in all aspects to get what they want. that are proposed in life.
How children affect competitiveness with parents
There is nothing harder for a child than having to compete with others, but it still becomes harder and more unbearable to have to try to be better than their parents or live in continuous competition or daily demands.
Children do not need to compete,
they need to participate. Competition can seriously damage the self-esteem of children, but not only the loser, but also the winner makes him see a distorted reality that in the long run can continue to be detrimental to his self-esteem. But a child who has parents who constantly remind him of his mediocrity in the end comes to believe it. Would not it happen to you if someone were every day reminding you how little you are worth? But the reality is that
this type of parents live drowned in a world of fears and insecurity that unfortunately, children pay. That other children make fun can be negative, but at the end of the day they are at the same level and the true unconditional support must be found on behalf of the parents. Children defend each other, but parents who try to be better than their children, is an unfair fight that should never occur because the balance is unbalanced, in addition to being a behavior that borders on the sick.